# sales copy



## sociallyaccept (Dec 11, 2009)

Has any one experimented with the writing that you put right around the the "buy now" button where you sell your shirts online? I believe it's called sales copy. Have you ever had more success with different sales copy? 

I'm up for some feedback on mine. I'm not having too much trouble getting people to my site but I need to convert more. visitors to buyers. 

Get Rich T-Shirts | Socially Acceptable 
or
LABORLISS MAGAZINE | Socially Acceptable


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## splathead (Dec 4, 2005)

Perhaps it's the shirt? 

Tell us why we would want to buy a shirt that appears to be just a billboard for your website?


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## kimura-mma (Jul 26, 2008)

Spending $12 on your shirt is not going to make me rich. So all of your sales copy just turned me off. Wearing that shirt only does one thing... advertises your website. So shouldn't you be paying me to wear it?

The objective of your site is not to sell t-shirts, so unless you are going to add some creative value to your shirts, this is what you should do... Change the button to "Donate" and change the sales copy to "Support our site, get a FREE t-shirt!"


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## songdancer (Dec 10, 2009)

Part of the problem is that you say:

"It’s a small investment for a life of never having to worry about money..."

The sales pitch makes no sense for a shirt with your website's logo on it. 
In fact, I'll be $12 poorer, and still worrying about money.

I like kimura-mma's idea.


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## sociallyaccept (Dec 11, 2009)

I appreciate everyone's feedback but I can't say that I 100% agree with you. A small logo with my website address on it is a bad thing? Why on earth would that be a bad thing? I'm creating a brand, a lifestyle that is for people such as myself who may view society differently. 

The shirt is by no means a great creation and I don't expect to sell 10,000 shirts by any means.

But the shirt itself is a call out to society that says, "hey, you teach us all this stuff and jam all this in our heads, but what really matters is how well we can financially survive." Think about how much the economic structure would change if there were a bunch of successful entrepreneurs who then created jobs. The shirt asks why this isn't taught in the mainstream education system. 

However, I do agree that my sales copy is not 100% and I do appreciate the feedback on that and I am by no means upset. I can see how the sales copy could turn a person off and I will keep experimenting with it. 

Thanks,
Brandon


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## kimura-mma (Jul 26, 2008)

sociallyaccept said:


> A small logo with my website address on it is a bad thing?


Yes.



sociallyaccept said:


> Why on earth would that be a bad thing? I'm creating a brand, a lifestyle that is for people such as myself who may view society differently.


Because it creates confusion. Are you really that focused on creating a brand? Or just trying to drive traffic to your website? It seems like you are trying to do both at the same time. And that's what crosses the line of it being an advertisement and not a legit t-shirt brand.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with advertising through t-shirts, but don't try to disguise it as a t-shirt brand. If you want a real t-shirt brand, then you need to separate it from your website advertising. What other brand that you know of puts their website on their shirts? 



sociallyaccept said:


> But the shirt itself is a call out to society that says, "hey, you teach us all this stuff and jam all this in our heads, but what really matters is how well we can financially survive." Think about how much the economic structure would change if there were a bunch of successful entrepreneurs who then created jobs. The shirt asks why this isn't taught in the mainstream education system.


No doubt about it, you're trying to send a message and tell a story. And it's obviously something that is going to speak to those who visit your site and read your magazine. But you said you have no problem getting visitors, just not converting to t-shirt sales. Well, eventually you have to start asking yourself why. If you just want to sell shirts, treat it as a donation. But if you want to build a true brand, IMO, you have to start acting like one. Start by understanding your audience. What is it that keeps them visiting your website? What kinds of brands are they currently wearing? You have all these creative characters on your website... could they be the focus of the shirts?


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## sociallyaccept (Dec 11, 2009)

Awesome feedback, Kimura-mma. I can see how it would be confusing. I kinda couldn't see that myself and I needed someone to lament it for me. I admit I don't know what I want to do with the shirt. Right now, I'm giving them away when someone subscribes to my magazine and I may stay with that since they do, more or less, advertise the site. And the magazine subscription with the free T-shirt seems to be working better. 

Sometimes I can get so jumbled with ideas I don't always know what to do with them. The shirts probably won't sell but tremendously well, but after everyone's feedback I feel they should be used more to drive people to the site and I'll probably keep giving them away with the subscriptions. 

I am hoping to make more of the characters T-shirts in the future. 

Thanks


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